he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
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