If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
