Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
