I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
