at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
