Already got asked if we're dating
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Drake has all the answers
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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