They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
