just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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