I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My vagina is officially offended.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
