Got a toothbrush?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
