Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
