That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize