we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
