Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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