I wish I could punch you in the face.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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