Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I cut my penus on the lid.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
