Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize