I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
