He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
