He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.