he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Bring me that man meat
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize