I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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