she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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