This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
