Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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