just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
