I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize