D3 body, D1 cock
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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