just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
