there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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