Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Randomize