Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
