is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
