I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
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New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
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Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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