I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
