in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
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