so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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