That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
