It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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