this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
