I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Randomize
