So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
