I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
