Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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