So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
