I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
