Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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