do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
