So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
