i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
