i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
