i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
