my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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