when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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