I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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