It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
