Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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