Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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