I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
